This past Thursday Emma turned one and it was such a sweet celebration. It blows my mind that a whole year has come and gone and that now Josh and I have a one year old! It’s so wonderful, we are oh so blessed to be parents to that sweet little girl. This past year if anything, has shown me how loved I am by God. That He would allow me to know such joy through motherhood, I truly am so unworthy.
Along with that, this first year of motherhood revealed tons of new things about my personality! This first year was so wonderful and challenging for so many reasons! I am so blessed to share with you 5 things I learned this first year of motherhood. I am no expert, not even close but through certain situations my family and I faced I have grown as an individual.
A New Love
The First I experienced through motherhood was a new understanding of love. It has been amazing to see my heart swell with love for my sweet daughter, each day my heart grows with love for her. God has given me a beautiful daughter and He has allowed me to know a love for a creation that is part me and part her daddy ( obviously God is the creator, we just get to play a part in it). What a wonderful blessing both pregnancy and having a child is, and I am so unworthy to know this blessing.
A Deeper Love For Her Daddy
I have now seen my husband be a father to my baby and that in itself has made me have even more love and adoration for the man that he is. Our sweet baby girl, without knowing it, has allowed me to see my wonderful husband in a new light and because of it I am even more head over heels for her daddy.
He is such a wonderful father, and seeing his patience, attitude, selflessness, & his grace, has reminded me of how blessed I am to have that in my heavenly Father. Not only that, but each and every day Josh challenges me through the way he loves, to love more like Christ. I cannot love unless I am grounded in the King, that is a fact.
A New Fight
I do not know how many of you know about my struggle with insecurity, but it is the struggle that I have to die to every day. But this year, my battle with insecurity was within a whole new bracket. It has been one of perfectionism and one of comparison.
Since having Emma I have compared myself quite often to other mothers, and I have compared what we do and do not have to other families. I felt like a bad mother if Emma did not reach all her milestones each new month, I was constantly comparing what Emma could do and could not do to other babies.
Gosh as I type this I am disgusted with myself, but sadly its true.
Honestly this is not entirely a new fight for me, as most of my struggles fall into the bucket of comparisonism, but struggling in this new realm of motherhood was new! Thankfully God has placed more experienced moms in my life that speak truth into my life, they reveal Gods truth to me just about everyday when it comes to motherhood. Just like in my struggle of insecurity, this struggle will be one that I must renew my mind each day so I do not continuously fall into it.
A Village Matters
Since Josh and I married, we have been abundantly blessed with wonderful community, but I didn’t realize how truly committed our community was to us! Through my pregnancy I was overwhelmed by the love and prayers, our community provided for us. Not only that, but materially our community went above and beyond in helping to provide for the beginning stages of Emma’s life!
Before Emma had even arrived she was so loved and provided for, and she was constantly prayed for! I have no fear in the future community that God has provided for our family and for Emma, and I’m so excited to see how they whisper truth and encourage her in her walk with Christ.
A prayer Journey
I don’t say this lightly, but the past year with Emma being born a month early, with her being sick, with sleepless nights, teething, and new life experiences, I physically mentally and spiritually do not believe that Josh and I could have made this journey without walking with Christ! Through prayer God provided an overwhelming sense of peace, just like Philippians 4:7 says. This first year of motherhood has taught me a how to be a consistent prayer but what a challenge that is.
Consistently praying over a certain thing is something I have always struggled at doing continuously. I can’t just pray for her health today and hope that for the next 18 years her health is taken care of. I can not pray that God places himself at the forefront of her life at early age today, and hope that in the next 18 years that happens. I don’t pray for her future husband one time and hope that God provides that in her future. No, the next 18+ years of her life is going to be mine and her fathers prayer journey. We will consistently be praying for God to shadow over her life, and that he will provide for her in absolutely every way.